


What We Aren't

by BurningSwan



Series: What We Cannot Have [4]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Enemies to Friends, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Moving On, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Starting Over, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-15 23:32:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12331023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningSwan/pseuds/BurningSwan
Summary: Shizuo never imagined becoming friends with the flea, but there’s not much else he can do.





	What We Aren't

**Author's Note:**

> For those who dislike Namie, maybe you will like her more? I was tempted go the angst route for Shizuo’s pov, but I didn’t. So here is the beginning of the recovery and reconciliation.
> 
> Also, I lost the original ending to this part, so it was rewritten. Hopefully it still is good. 
> 
> ~BurningSwan

He's watching TV with Vorona when Namie calls.

He gives Vorona a look and she waves him away. 

He steps away from the couch.

"You said you want to fix this, now is the time to start." Namie says.

"Is he better then?"

"I had Shinra take a look at him, but he's better than when you last saw him. No drinking. Still not really sleeping or eating, but better in the ways that he can be all things considered." Namie replies calmly.

Shizuo nods, relieved.

"Should I go to his apartment, then?"

"It would be better than taking him to your house and seeing you with your woman, yes." Namie muses harshly.

Shizuo flinched just barely.

"I got it. How about tomorrow?"

"That would be fine, he is not busy tomorrow. I will make sure of it." Namie replied coldly.

"I'll come around 10 am, then." Shizuo decides firmly.

"Fine. See you then." Namie hung up.

Shizuo walked back to Vorona who spared him a glance.

"Going to see him then?" She queried, face impassive.

Shizuo sat next to her, and she rested against him.

"Tomorrow morning." He answers, and Vorona sighs slightly.

"I wish you luck in fixing this. Maybe you two can become friends this time." Vorona says softly, resting her head against Shizuo's chest. Shizuo touched a hand to her shoulder.

He hadn't really though about that. Could they become friends? He supposed he didn't have much choice if he alternative was Izaya killing himself. The words of the suicide note still burned in his mind. It was hard for him to process. How had he missed it? And for so long? How long had Izaya felt that way about him? How must he have felt when Shizuo got close with Vorona?

He focused his attention on Vorona with a sudden realization.

"You're not worried something might happen between us?" He asked her.

Vorona flitted her eyes over to his face and smiled. 

"I trust you, Shizuo. You told me that I am the one important to you. He is no longer your enemy, but he is not your lover. You are fixing a broken relationship, perhaps becoming friends, but nothing more." Vorona answers, fluttering her lashes.

Quieter, she adds, "And if you pick him over me, if that is for your greater happiness, then perhaps there is nothing I can do." 

Shizuo shakes his head and pulls her closer.

"I won't choose him over you. You are the one." He murmurs.

Vorona smiles, eyes gleaming.

"I know."

———

It still feels startling when Shizuo sees Izaya again, skinny, though not as much as last time, dark bags under his eyes, skin clinging to his limbs limply, eyes blankly staring at nothing.

Namie sits next to Izaya, not even batting an eyelash as Shizuo sits down across from Izaya.

"Izaya." He whispers quietly, causing those dull crimson eyes to flick over to him.

As soon as they recognize him, they flit away. Izaya hunches over the table.

"Namie, why is he here?" Izaya mumbles.

"He is here to see you, Izaya." The woman replies, admiring her fingernails with boredom.

Izaya turns his head up to Shizuo. Stares, says nothing.

"Izaya, let's start over." Shizuo states, earning a blank stare from the raven.

"How?" He croaks.

"Hello, I'm Heiwajima Shizuo. Nice to meet you." Shizuo smiles gently at Izaya.

Izaya frowns, his eyes seem to water.

"Introduce yourself, Orihara-kun, this is my 'friend', Shizuo." Namie interjects helpfully.

Izaya stares down at the table.

"I'm Orihara Izaya, pleasure to make your acquaintance, Shizuo." Izaya mumbles.

Shizuo beams.

"Orihara-san, let's be friends." Shizuo declares softly.

Izaya's head shoots up, surprise and light illuminating his gaze.

"Friends?" He breathes.

"Friends?" He repeats, face blank with shock. Then, a crooked smile.

"Okay." Is all he says.

It will take a lot of work, but Shizuo is willing to put in the time, and Namie is willing to arrange the meetings. Eventually, Izaya is the one to decide when they meet, the life slowly returning to his eyes.

———

"You're doing the right thing. You would have regretted letting him die." Vorona says one night when the two of them are alone, cuddling on the couch. Close but not close. Touching but only slightly. It's fine though, that's how they are.

Shizuo nods.

"I never thought I'd ever become friends with the flea." He rumbles, amused.

"Izaya, friends with Izaya." Vorona correct, sounding bemused at his statement.

"To tell you the truth, I didn't want you to know how he felt in the beginning. I was...Yes, I was jealous. You too may have had a relationship built on hatred but that didn't mean it couldn't become something else. His situation reminded me of my own. I just thought I had been lucky, that you could have picked him over me." She confesses, pressing her face into his chest, red dusting her cheeks and ears.

Shizuo runs his fingers through her hair lightly, absentmindedly.

"I'm just glad things turned out okay in the end. If Namie hadn't stopped him or if Shinra hadn't come to visit..." Shizuo trailed off with a sigh. 

Vorona nodded sympathetically.

"Knowing it was your fault...The guilt would have destroyed you." She comments, eyes downcast.

Shizuo nods, not wanting to think about what could have been.

What had almost been.

———

Izaya glared at Namie as soon as Shizuo left. He had come over a few times now and Izaya was suspicious. 

"Namie, what are you planning?" He demanded.

Namie frowned.

"Whatever do you mean?" She queried, expression betraying nothing of what she was thinking. 

Izaya crossed his arms.

Namie sighed.

"Nothing, I just don't want to deal with a suicidal alcoholic as a boss." She snaps, rolling her eyes.

Izaya doesn't believe her, but he doesn't press any further.

"I'm not like that anymore." He huffs.

"No thanks to yourself." Namie snarks.

Izaya didn't answer, not even flinching. 

Izaya never imagined he would have the chance to start over with Shizuo, have the chance to be something more, other than an enemy, someone hated. He thought that he might have Namie to thank for that. He never would though, he wouldn't give her that small victory. 

He might not get to be more than a friend, but he supposed that was better than being nothing, or being a hated enemy. 

It takes time to heal wounds, and luckily, they have lots of it.


End file.
